May 20, 2019

Can Black Marriage Be Resurrected?

Seventy percent of black children are born to unmarried parents;

Fathers of these children are usually out of the child’s life within two years;

Black children are more likely to have difficulty in school, have alcohol and/or drug abuse issues, experience emotional problems, and get into trouble with the law than their white counterparts;

Two out of three black women are not married;

More than 10% of black males between the ages of 20 and 35 are in jail;

During a black man’s lifetime, the odds of him spending some time in jail is 1 in 4;

Black women have a higher percentage of abortions than any other race;

More blacks live in poverty than any other race.

Anyone who has taken an honest look at the black community in America today is aware of these statistics. They are as heartbreaking as they are disturbing. There are many who want to blame these problems on poverty and/or racism. Others see education as the panacea for single motherhood. They believe that if black women could graduate high school, receive a college diploma, and, as a consequence, enjoy a professional career, then they would marry educated black men, and their children would live in a stable home. Crime and poverty would eventually be eliminated.

But is that true? Is there an intrinsic link between education and marriage in the black community? Stanford University Law Professor Ralph Richard Banks thinks not. His book, Is Marriage for White People: How the African-American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone, paints a bleak portrait of life for black female professionals. Despite the advanced education and the good-paying jobs, these women still find that marriage eludes them.

After numerous interviews with black female professionals, Dr. Banks drew the following conclusions: These black women are 50% less likely to be married than their white counterparts. Since twice as many black women have college degrees than black men, the availability of affluent black men for marriage is extremely low. In addition, although college-educated black men are inclined not to marry, when they do, they marry women who are not black. And if the black female professional marries a man who makes less money than she, divorce is more likely to occur. Facing such daunting odds, some of these professionals choose a short- term relationship with a man just to become pregnant, which, of course, usually exacerbates the problem of children raised by single mothers.

So, if even advanced education doesn’t help the black community, is there no hope? Is the black culture beyond redemption? I say no, and the answer is in the face of every black woman who looks into a mirror.

Before I elaborate, let’s look at some history. There was a time in America, not too long ago, when men realized that if they wanted to have sex and children, they had to do two things. First, they had to have a job that would support a family. Second, they had to marry the woman they loved. Any woman with brains would not enter a sexual relationship with a man unless both conditions were met. Most women knew this, and most men did, also. It was a beautiful system that worked to perfection. It was a rare occurrence to come across a child who did not have two parents. Families were stable, and many of the pathologies that wreak havoc on children today did not exist.

But, beginning in the 1960s, feminism and The Pill changed all that. Men soon found that they could have sex on a regular basis with various women, impregnate some, and then walk away. No job? No problem. No marriage proposal? No problem. And as everyone knows, the results have been devastating for every racial group but particularly for blacks.

And, so, the only way this is going to be reversed is for black women to do one simple thing: say no. Say no to every man who propositions them for sex. Say no to every man who has dropped out of high school. Say no to every man who claims to want a serious relationship but has no inclination to work for a living. Say no to every man who has disdain for marriage. Say no to every man who has fathered one or more illegitimate child and is proud of it. And say no to every man who has no need for God. If they do this, they will help black men to grow up into responsible adulthood. If they do this, they will save the black community from self-destruction. The power is in their hands.

“Impossible,” you say. No, it’s not. It used to be that way. In the 1950s, the percentage of black children living with married parents was the same as it was for white children. It is a subtle racism that believes that black women and men can’t be chaste. Intercourse is a choice, not a genetic defect.

Still not convinced? Still want more sex education, more pills, more patches, more condoms, more shots, more abortions? If the answer is yes, then may God have mercy on your soul.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Written by
Thomas Addis

THOMAS ADDIS is a retired high school teacher and published author, most recently authoring a children's book, A Gift of Light, which is available at Amazon. An M.A. graduate of Oakland University, he is Associate Editor of Catholic Journal. In his spare time, he enjoys reading and cycling.

View all articles
Written by Thomas Addis