New Changes For 2013

New Changes For 2013

A gun course will be required as part of obtaining a teaching certificate.  This three hour full semester course will teach you how to load and unload most handguns, how to assemble a rifle, a shotgun and an automatic weapon with both a regular and a full clip.  Part of the course will be spent at a gun range where a passing grade is required by the teacher.

All new gas station signs will be electronically connected to the Chicago Board of Trade so that the price of gasoline at the pump can be easily adjusted several times per day as crude oil fluctuates on the open market.

Metal detectors will be installed in most theatres, malls, and restaurants.  Movie theatres will be required to notify the public upon admission to the theatre that armed guards are present.

Any professional athlete with a salary over $100 million dollars will be required to set aside a percentage of that salary to be applied toward the National Debt.

A new provisional marriage certificate will be offered in most states that is good for one year and subject to an annual renewal.  After 5 consecutive renewals, both parties can apply for a permanent certificate if they can show that there is no history of abuse, drug trafficking, having served time in jail for a felony, or been involved in any form of marriage infidelity including having a child out of wedlock.

All newly elected members of Congress will have their annual salary paid as an hourly wage.  Instead of an annual wage of $174,000 they will be paid $83.65 for each hour that they spend actually performing the job in Washington D.C.

Employers will be required to submit their tax revenue to the Federal Government on a daily basis.  At the end of each day, the Comptroller of the currency will determine if there is enough money on hand after paying all the government bills to run the government for another day.

The National Football League will consider a rule change that would allow some teams to have 12 or more men on the field without being penalized so that they will remain competitive.  Twelve men on the field will not be available as an option until a team has lost at least 50% or 8 of its games in a 16 game season.

Church collections will now be held at the beginning of the service or mass.  If sufficient revenue is not forthcoming, a second collection will be held at the time of the offertory to make up the shortfall.  MasterCard, VISA, Amex and Discover will be universally accepted at all churches.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Written by
Donald Wittmer