September 13, 2019

All The President’s "Men"

Ladies and Gentlemen:

It appears that my Inaugural Pamphlet, poor as it may have been, has solicited some small measure of Enthusiasm on the part of its few readers and has, indeed, inspired one of them to put pen to paper. As a result, I am in receipt of a letter from one Sal Magundi who, on the occasion of the President’s cabinet selection, found it proper and fitting to communicate with me, your own Humble Author, his questions and observations.

Although I look forward to sharing my own thoughts with you very soon, I believe it will provide some opportunity for healthy discussion to offer Mr. Magundi’s letter for public consideration.

I sincerely hope it as its intended consequences. Read on.

Sincerely,

Humble Author.

 

Dear Humble,

I was told by the news people on TV that the Republican Party is too old, too white, and too male. They also told me that they are all too rich to connect with me. Then the other day they told me that there were no women in the President’s Cabinet, and no African Americans from the Democrat Party in the Senate.

I think that they might be confused. Do you know any of the people who do the news on TV? They say Republican but I think they mean Democrat. If you do know them, could you share the list I made below? I think it might help them understand.

Confused,

-Sal Magundi.

 

Vice President of the United States

Joe Biden

70-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $500,000 (I think they call him “Poor Joe”)

 

Senate Majority Leader

Harry Reid

72-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $5 million

 

Senate Majority Whip

Dick Durbin

68-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $1.2 million

 

House Minority Whip

Steny Hoyer

73-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – could not find

 

U.S. Treasury Secretary

Timothy F. Geithner

51-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $2 million

 

White House Chief of Staff

Jack Lew

57-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – could not find: however, previously office oversaw a $54.3 billion Citigroup unit that profited off the housing collapse and financial crisis

 

Top White House Aide(s)

Nine of the top ten aids to the Obama White House are white males. I’m just sayin’…

 

Governor of California

Jerry Brown

74-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $4 million

 

Governor of New York

Andrew Cuomo

54-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $2 million

 

Governor of Minnesota

Mark Dayton

65-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – estimated $3 to $12 million

 

Governor of…

well, in point of fact there’s only one female Democrat serving as a Governor right now – and she is white. All the rest are men and only one is black.

 

Mayor of New York

Michael Bloomberg

70-year-old white male independent, governing as a Democrat

Net worth – $25 billion

 

Mayor of Chicago

Rahm Emanuel

52-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $14 million

 

MSNBC Political Commentator

Chris Matthews

66-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $16 million

 

Political Commentator

Bill Maher

56-year –old white male Democrat

Net Worth – $23 million

 

Filmmaker and Activist

Michael Moore

58-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $58 million

 

Political Strategist

James Carville

68-year-old white male Democrat

Net worth – $5 million

 

Also:

Bill Clinton

Al Gore

George Soros

Bruce Springsteen

George Clooney

Jay Leno

Matt Lauer

Anderson Cooper

Arron Sorkin

A whole bunch of other rich, old, white males…

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Humble Author

HUMBLE AUTHOR resides in the snows of Valley Forge, a place named in honor of that Most Hallowed Place where a handful of our fellow citizens once made an arduous, lonely, yet blessedly fateful stand. He is committed, through his own poor efforts, to provide a faint light for the way in this new darkness, and a few peaceful arms for the long battle that lies ahead.

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