August 21, 2019

Poll Finds That 42 Percent Of Americans Unaware Obama Is Still President

Ronkonkoma, NY: Following a recent Kaiser Family Foundation poll that revealed 42 percent of Americans did not know that Obamacare had become law, a new poll revealed today that 42 percent likewise do not know that Barack Obama is still President of the United States.

“I’ll be danged,” said unemployed steel worker Carl Leinsdorf upon being told that Mr. Obama was still America’s 44th and sitting President.

“I thought he was just some media wacko now, kinda like Al Gore after he went all bug-nuts in 2001. I mean, what has he been doing? I think if more people knew that he was supposed to be in charge then a lot fewer people would like him as much. This country is a hot, smoking mess right now,” said Leinsdorf.

Ms. Stacy Leonard, an unemployed retail sales clerk, expressed the same surprise.

“I guess I had simply started tuning him out. He was on the T.V. all the time, day and night, night and day, and I suppose I never know why. He never seemed to have any idea what was really going on,” Leonard remarked.

“I hardly remember an election at all. Does anyone know who voted for him?”

Respondents to the poll incorrectly identified Mr. Obama’s current job as everything from “paid spokesman for Planned Parenthood” to “PGA Tour Superfan.”

“I thought the president was somebody Bush I think,” shyly claimed five-year-old Amy Sullivan, who will go on to be an unemployed systems analyst.

“Then Obama is doing a very, very, very bad job,” she said.

[The preceding article is tagged and intended as satire]
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HUMBLE AUTHOR resides in the snows of Valley Forge, a place named in honor of that Most Hallowed Place where a handful of our fellow citizens once made an arduous, lonely, yet blessedly fateful stand. He is committed, through his own poor efforts, to provide a faint light for the way in this new darkness, and a few peaceful arms for the long battle that lies ahead.

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