Recently, a friend stumbled upon the following Facebook question and thread.
“Some say marriage is the best. Some say it isn’t worth it. I’ve lived in four different homes in three different states with my soul mate. And we share a car in both our names. Lol. Do we need a piece of paper to say we’re married? Share your thoughts…but be gentle…”
“Whatever floats your boat. As long as you’re happy with it. Nobody gets married nowadays anyway! lol. But you still better give me a niece or nephew!!!!”
“We need a new institution. Having a strict Catholic background, I PERSONALLY see marriage as highly misogynistic. A woman shouldn’t expect one day to be all about her; that’s how the entire relationship should be.”
“No. But the party would be nice”
“I feel the same way!! I don’t see myself ever marrying, and i’m ok with that”
“Too much money for marriage. if you’re soul mates, who needs to go through ask the planning and money if you’re content?”
“Been there, done that; can’t say it’s all that great, prob won’t do it again. nowadays, it’s not a must for folks, it’s a thing that you do if it means something big to you. if it doesn’t, not a problem either…”
“I agree about having a party to celebrate your years together.”
“God forbid, but you have no say if some serious injury occurs and you’re not married. I agree, if you’re happy, nobody else’s opinion is important, but that is something to consider.”
“I say it is a personal decision. I, personally,have always believed that marriage is sacred and that I would only place myself within it if it truly was a forever bond. My hubby and I are so happy. That is the only way that I am traditional. My spiritual beliefs make me want to say in front of God and everyone that this is who I commit to for life. But, if it doesn’t share the same meaning in your world than I don’ t think it is as important. Your choice..the both of you.”
“Personally, I don’t believe that marriage (nowadays) necessarily indicates a higher level of commitment or love for a person than being in a committed relationship (I think we have seen that over and over). That said, marriage has very important legal rights (hospital visitation/health decisions, rights after death of a spouse) and financial impacts (taxes, debts, assets, property, health and life insurance), etc. to consider. Children are a whole other thing all together.”
“I know these things sound ridiculous, and they kinda are. Like I said, my parents were married and divorced 6 times between the 2 of em. My bro and his ‘wife’ never got married, and they’ve been together for like 25 years. Unfortunately, it’s a smart and necessary evil. If my bro died, there’d be what we refer to as a cluster of issues. His wife would receive zero pension, estate would go to my nephew and niece, etc etc. The law can suck, but it’s also the only way things get settled properly sometimes. S**t, most of our laws are so antiquated it’s hysterical. But we must try to plan for the unplanned, regardless of beliefs. That’s why I’m in favor of it, even if you get married by Elvis in Vegas.”
“I got married because I wanted at least one child and I personally so not believe in having kids if you are not married. Also even though I’m pretty non traditional in some ways I believe in marriage. To me it’s not just a piece of paper, it’s a promise to my husband, God and my family that I am in this for the long haul. This is just my opinion, I’m not saying I think it’s wrong to not be married, I’m not saying its wrong to have kids and not be married I’m just saying for me being married was the right way to go.”
“Getting married also doesn’t equal a huge expense. Yes a weddings equal a huge expense but getting married doesn’t. I cringe when people say don’t get married because it cost too much money. You two can walk into a courthouse, a chapel, walk out on a beach in flip flops heck you can have a minister or a non religious officiant come to your house and marry you. I was raised Catholic and Ted has never gone to church and has no declared religion. A friend of his who became a minister online…yup online…lol…performed our ceremony. I think that’s where a lot of people fall into a trap. Not ready for marriage but they want a wedding, a big show or party. You know, the fairytale. Your fairytale is whatever you want it to be not what the rest of us think it should be. If that means you and your great love just rent a house, live together with your furry kids and never decide to conform to what everyone else thinks is right then you are living your happily ever after and that’s all that matters.”
To which I say…
“Ghu”
Or for you conventional types…
“God help us.”
