This Is Your Life

This Is Your Life

Once there was a manโ€”letโ€™s call him Timโ€”who was dying of cancer; thanks to hospice care, he was able to stay in his own home, where he spent all his time in bed. Tim happened to be a huge soccer fan, and because thatโ€™s not a major American sport, he kept up with European soccer, and followed the championship games very closely. Since Tim tired very easily, he couldnโ€™t stay up late enough to watch the games on live television, so his sons brought him videos of the games that he could watch when it was convenient. Timโ€™s pastor, Father McGowan, came to see him, and Tim admitted that while he was basically at peace with the idea of dying, one thing concerned him. As a young man, he had lived a very sinful life, and even though he later repented and humbly and honestly confessed all his serious sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Tim still wondered: when he saw Jesus face to face, would the Lord be angry or disgusted at him?

Father McGowan, who knew of Timโ€™s practice of watching videotapes of the soccer games, said, โ€œTim, hereโ€™s what will happen when you die. You and the Lord Jesus will sit down together and watch a special video all about you called โ€˜This is Your Life.โ€™ Itโ€™s a long and extremely thorough video, though it will seem to go by quickly; it will show every single moral choice youโ€™ve ever madeโ€”not only the ones you remember, but also all the ones youโ€™ve forgotten. Youโ€™ll look with relief at some of the scenes; others will cause you to cringe; still others will cause you to think, โ€˜Wow, I never realized how my choices affected other people, either for good or for ill.โ€™ You and Jesus will be reviewing your life by watching this video together, and then youโ€™ll notice it has a lot of blank spots, moments when thereโ€™s nothing on the screen. Youโ€™ll wonder whatโ€™s going on, and suddenly youโ€™ll realize all these missing scenes are the times you did something morally wrong, but then sincerely repented and received Christโ€™s mercy. When the Lord forgives you, He develops amnesiaโ€”and if you were to ask Him what was in the deleted scenes, He wouldnโ€™t be able to tell you.โ€ Father McGowanโ€™s explanation put Tim completely at ease, and he died very peacefully a few days laterโ€”shortly after watching his favorite European team win the soccer championship (McArdle, 150 Stories for Preachers and Teachers, #58). In a sense, we become spiritual champions when we entrust ourselves to the love and mercy of Godโ€”for when we place ourselves in His hands and humbly ask forgiveness, our sins are forever wiped away.

Simon the Pharisee is a good example of someone who just didnโ€™t get it; he thought religion was all about following rules, appeasing divine justice, and earning Godโ€™s favor. St. Paul, who himself had once lived by that misguided mindset, tells us in the 2nd Reading that we are not justified or saved by our good works, but by our living faith in the crucified and risen Lord. Simon, however, wasnโ€™t ready to hear such a message; he had forgotten the story of Davidโ€™s repentance and Godโ€™s immediate forgiveness of his sin, described in the 1st Reading; the idea of mercy didnโ€™t enter into Simonโ€™s thinking. Even worse, this attitude made him judgmental; his self-righteousness caused him to look down on the sinful woman. Jesus therefore used this opportunity not only to forgive the woman, but to correct Simonโ€”in effect, warning him that unless his attitude changed, his eventual experience of divine judgment would not be a pleasant one.

What about us? What will it be like when we review our lives with the Lord? That will be a moment of either intense relief or profound regretโ€”and it will be too late for us to add to, change, or delete anything we see in the story of our lives. Therefore, it makes sense to do our โ€œfilm editingโ€ now, making sure the โ€œvideoโ€ of our lives plays out the way we want. I think this means three things in particular. First, we have to fill our video with as many good scenes as possibleโ€”in other words, we have to include all the good and loving deeds as we can, things that will please the Lord when we have our private screening with Him. This isnโ€™t a matter of earning our salvationโ€”which, as St. Paul says, is impossible for us to doโ€”but of letting our good deeds demonstrate our grateful acceptance of Christโ€™s gift of salvation. Even as we fully trust in the Lordโ€™s mercy, we want to be sure we donโ€™t appear before Him with empty hands. Secondly, we have to do everything possible to avoid the mistakes of Simon the Pharisee. We must not understand our relationship with God in a legalistic way, we must not become self- satisfied or self-righteous, and we must not judge or condemn others. Any and all of these attitudes will lead us seriously astray, making it hardโ€”if not impossibleโ€”for us to humbly and honestly acknowledge our sins and ask for Godโ€™s forgiveness. Jesus warned that little is forgiven to the one who loves little; the hero of todayโ€™s Gospel wasnโ€™t the person with the fewer sins, but the one with the greater love. Thirdly, as we edit the film of our lives, we need to delete as many bad scenes as possibleโ€”simply by admitting our sins and moral failings, and humbly yet confidently asking God to forgive them. The Lord hates sin, and intensely dislikes having to see or witness itโ€”which is wonderful news, because it means He is profoundly grateful to us when we give Him the chance to erase that terrible image of our sins from His sight eternally by our sincere acts of repentance. Jesus only enjoys videos with a happy endingโ€”and itโ€™s up to us, every day of our lives, to make sure thatโ€™s what Heโ€™ll see when itโ€™s our time to be judged by Him.

Fathers are a good example of what Iโ€™m talking about. When theyโ€™re on their deathbeds, preparing to meet the Lord, they wonโ€™t be thinking โ€œI regret not making more money,โ€ or โ€œIโ€™m sorry I didnโ€™t work longer hours on the job.โ€ No, what will matter at that moment is whether they tried to do a good job raising their sons and daughtersโ€”and the scenes in their life videos in which theyโ€™re playing with their children, teaching them, consoling them, helping them, and lovingly disciplining them, will be the ones which bring tears of joy and appreciation to the eyes of Jesus. Those of us whoโ€™ve had good and loving fathers are grateful to them and for themโ€”and weโ€™re called to live in a way that makes all their efforts and sacrifices worthwhile. Above all, each of us must believe, trust in, and share the mercy of our Heavenly Fatherโ€”for only in this way can we be cleansed of our sins and become capable of rejoicing in His presence forever and ever.

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Written by
Fr Joseph Esper