May 26, 2019

Obama Pressuring Lawmakers To Take Fall For Him Again

Washington, DC: The Obama administration, bolstered by evidence the American people generally have no idea what is going on in their own country, expressed confidence that Congress would take the fall for President Obama’s indecision regarding a military strike on the Middle Eastern country of Syria.

However, the president and his inner circle worked furiously over the weekend to twist congressional arms, appearing on Sunday shows, holding classified briefings with Hollywood producers, and making threatening calls to Capitol Hill leaders.

The president, Vice President Joe Biden and Chief of Staff Denis McDonough made phone calls on Sunday to senators and House members urging them to vote in favor of the authorization of military force in Syria or risk being accused of racism on MSNBC.

One official pulled no punches in his statement to the press.

We understand it is a no-win situation if we do strike: the choice of radical Islam or a tyrannical despot. But, because of someone else, the president has not acted for three years. Now something must be done and someone else must be blamed.

The official called the lobbying effort a “flood the zone” strategy, in an apparent acknowledgement of President Obama’s willingness to drown every member of Congress who will not cover for him.

The effort was preceded by Secretary of State John Kerry blanketing the Sunday shows in an effort to explain how three years of diplomatic inaction on the part of Obama – and the subsequent loss of 100,000 lives in Syria – were all the fault of former President George W. Bush.

Congress has formerly taken the fall for the president on a wide range of issues, including the destruction of the private sector‘s ability to create full-time jobs, the catastrophic increase in national debt, the debasement of the U.S. dollar, the passage of Obamacare, the delay in implementing Obamacare, fat kids in public schools, hurricanes, and his decision to use a Marine Osprey vehicle to fly the Obama’s family dog to Martha’s vineyard for vacation.

[The preceding article is tagged and intended as satire]
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HUMBLE AUTHOR resides in the snows of Valley Forge, a place named in honor of that Most Hallowed Place where a handful of our fellow citizens once made an arduous, lonely, yet blessedly fateful stand. He is committed, through his own poor efforts, to provide a faint light for the way in this new darkness, and a few peaceful arms for the long battle that lies ahead.

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