Democrat leaders in Washington are celebrating today as the U. S. labor participation rate hit a low not seen since the days of the Bee Gees and other disco giants.ย For the first time since 1978, the labor participation rate (the percentage of Americans who are at leastย lookingย for a job) has dropped to 63.2 percent. This means that more than 90 million working-age Americans are no longer working and no longer trying to find work.
As a result, Americaโs legions of non-workers are expected to start sporting much wider ties and significantly larger lapels as they inactively sit mired in the worst job-creation streak since John Travolta danced inย Saturday Night Fever.
โPolyester bell-bottoms are back in style, baby!โ declared a jubilant Harry Reid, speaking from the steps of Capitol Hill.
Max Baucus, chairman of the Senate Committee on Finance, was equally excited.
โI have been aching to re-grow my afro: I have always believed it is a great look for a white man from Montana. And now, with less than 47 percent of working-aged Americans working or looking for a job, the time has finally come. The chandeliers are coming down and the mirrored balls are going back up. This is just wonderful news for the nation,โ he said.
โIโve got the boogie fever!โ he added.
The Congressional Black Caucus is planning what is being called an โiPod Burningโ on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial next week, a ceremony designed to mark the return of 8-track tapes. KC and the Sunshine Band are scheduled to perform at the event.
โThis is a real and tangible validation of the Presidentโs jobs policyโ said White House Spokesman Jay Carney. โWithout President Obamaโs unwavering commitment to reducing unemployment figures by drastically reducing the number of people who will ever work again, we might never have seen the return of the leisure suit, Hai Karate aftershave, and shag pile carpeting in hotel rooms. I think that there are 90 million-plus people in America who owe the President a big โthank youโ for the Disco Inferno they are all burning in right now.โ
President Obama has yet to comment formally on the new participation rate. However, while boarding Air Force One yesterday, he did turn back to the assembled reporters at the airport and shouted out what sounded, to most, like โKeep on Trucking.โ
[The preceding article is tagged and intended as satire]