As someone whoโs avidly and anxiously watching the growth of social polarization in America, I squirmed upon hearing that one of the prescriptions for our latest national challengeโmanaging the COVID-19 pandemicโis a strategy called โsocial distancing.โ
Oh, great. What is this paradoxical term? It evoked all my concerns about trends already dividing us in the realms of politics, news coverage, digital culture, and civil discourse. Pope Francis has warned us that, in light of Catholic culture and values, we must resist todayโs tendencies toward outrage, defamation and de-platforming, exclusionary silencing of contrary voices, withdrawal into artificial realities, manipulation of information, weaponization of words, labeling of people, snap judgments, and a demonizing mix of relativism and moralismโall tempting us to toxify or forsake inclusive, constructive communication.
Indeed, the pope has made many comments, in his annual World Communications Day messages and elsewhere, suggesting that social media and smartphone screens make us less social. This week, I imagined him regretting the symbolism, and possible outcomes, of physical distancing: He might say the behavior widens the chasms that erode compassionate communication, offend human dignity, and short-circuit the pursuit of common good and shared truths! He agrees with a growing array of secular opinion-leaders who say Americans need to feel comfortable talking with each other again.
My imagination went astray, Iโll admit. I discovered โsocial distancingโโmost basically, the commonplace guidance to maintain 3-to-6 feet of space between you and another person in order to limit the spread of a virusโis scientifically sound practice. The idea is akin to quarantining, avoiding big crowds, and bumping fists instead of shaking hands. It aligns with Christian principles of charity, community solidarity, and good citizenship. Of course, the Vatican itself is implementing the strategy.
All of this has legitimized distancing, but I canโt help thinking itโs a sad sign of a bigger โdis-ease.โ To the degree that the elderly and infirm may have a particular need for the love expressed in a hug or a gentle touch, to the degree that compassion and caring are well-expressed in a kiss of the beloved, to the degree that dynamic group gatherings (as well as meaningful face-to-face encounters with the marginalized) are booster shots for humanity, social distancing is like pulling the light-therapy lamp away from the SAD sufferer. These increases in โpersonal spaceโ and unused time are snapshots of a contaminated community space that cries out for visits by missionary disciples.
This is a teachable moment when a future shaped by social polarization is uncloaked but the present moment allows us to see we have alternatives. We have temporarily entered a quiet placeโalmost literally a retreat houseโin our lives: March Madness thrills are sterilized, St. Patrickโs Day offers pints but no parades, the electricity of college campuses is replaced by โdistance learningโ delivering lectures and tests online.
When the virus scare is past, weโll be able to raise our eyes from the screen. Weโll step out where all of us can exchange lines in the more meaningful scenes we sense we were born to play. As Pope Francis recently said to mark World Communications Day 2020, God, the โgreat storyteller,โ is summoning us as actors to share in, and spread, the current episodes of the timeless redemption tale. โFor no one is an extra on the world stage,โ the pope wrote, โand everyoneโs story is open to possible change.โ
Now that weโve been distanced, itโs a good chance to become good students, learning our lines and integrating the โmotivationโ of our characters so weโll be ready when the box office reopens. Here are a few ideas for optimizing the current circumstances of sluggishness and separation:
- Bridge the gaps between people with more spacious respect.ย In maintaining a few feet of โsocial distanceโ during everyday civic life and commerce, letโs adopt better ways of being noticed, expressing ourselves in an appealing way, communicating respectfully, and appreciating the full value of interactions. Weโre not rock โem-sock โem robots. Weโre all human beings, with unique qualities and contributions to be discerned by ourselves and others. Letโs take in the full view of every person as an end, not a means, while extra time and space provide us the chance to do so. When appropriate, remake what used to be โsmall talkโ into larger, longer, even louder talk. Greet and depart by giving people a big wave. Smile broadly and declare, โStay healthy!โ Donโt feel like smiling? Make a (germ-free) Vulcan hand gesture, accompanied by โLive long and prosper!โ
- Attend the modestly sized meetings in your community, and participate.ย Donโt become a home-body. Since you canโt go to a basketball game, go to a city council meeting, or become active in the club you joined as a lukewarm member two years ago. Entertain yourself and others by keeping civic life interesting. Attend and pay attention. Take note that there are a couple of top-players or interesting rookies among your clubโs leadership! No celebrities or sports stars, but folks worth getting to know! Your seat has space around it, so fill it with gravitas; say constructive things as a contributor, not a spectator. Donโt leave everything up to the guy next to you; heโs not there! Make a simple jokeโhelpful, since the comedy club is closed!
- Make full use of your time at home with the familyย since mom and dad have canceled their business trips and siblings are home from college. Discuss dinner plans in advance, drawing tips from menus youโve googled. Enjoy conversations around the table, and decide what film youโll all watch together. Take advantage of cheaper popcorn.
- Take a social approach to the media.ย Among families and friends, show at least a few of the Facebook and Instagram pages youโve followed as a solo reader. Look up the pages of people and families that everyone knows; suddenly they become more important, better understood, likely to be โlikedโ or โfollowedโ by a few more people. Expand horizons by trying a few TV or YouTube channels you never watched before, perhaps ones you disagree with. Discuss those conflicts. Realize youโre shedding your confirmation bias.
- Vet your tweets and responses before you send them.ย Pretend youโre the President, but donโt rush into that! Ask a friend or relative how they might rephrase your latest Twitter creation. If you see a comment that enrages you, ask for input on whether the source is a jerk whoโs best ignored, or perhaps a modern-day prophet who states his case clumsily! Play a game where teams compete to hone your tweet to exactly the maximum number of characters.
- Incorporate prayer and pondering.ย Increase the time you spend alone forming a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.ย First and foremost, seize the available silence so you can reflect or meditate each day. If you need to be busy, make a dent in that pile of edifying books youโve wanted to read. Or surf the Internet, prudently, to study spiritual points that somehow didnโt make the news, or to catch up on questions of the secular world, or to research an event in historical context. Always ponder the discoveries afterward, as Mary would, with an openness to the Holy Spiritโs insights. Establish Catholic playlists of blogs or podcasts or performers who make you say, โI wish I had said that.โ
- Remember to thank God for your healthย and to pray for all those friends and relatives who are sick or vulnerable. Then, plan to visit them, either in-person or virtually. Send grateful emails to the professionals who are caring for your loved ones. Include a link to something inspirational or fun.
Social distancing can open up a whole new spectrum of distance-learning opportunities. Your retreat from some things can create a new closeness to alternatives. You may look back with gratitude on the extra quiet and extra time brought to you by order of our health-science gurus.
After COVID-19 has disappeared, weโll need to find the right balance between low-touch scientific wisdom and high-touch spiritual renewal. Letโs remember the habits we developed during our retreat, such as cherishing communication and conversation as acts of human intimacy and empowerment. Weโll place a higher value on news and information, despite the torrents of data pouring out of our media, if we have become better sorters and interpreters of whatโs important and whatโs real. Weโll place a higher value on other people if we shared the frustration of closed sports arenas but responded by preparing for encounters with open minds.
My hope for an easing of polarization and outrage may be just as exaggerated as my initial resistance to the tactic called social distancing. But, in the spirit of Catholic solidarity and Pope Francisโ messages about communication, Iโm betting the cross of individual separation with which weโre battling a communicable disease today can represent a โvia dolorosaโ leading us to redemption tomorrowโa healing of human togetherness that we just canโt stop talking about.