“True Loves” and Real Friends

“True Loves” and Real Friends

On this 25th Sunday in Ordinary Time, the lesson that Jesus wishes to teach us is a life lesson, in the sense that it forces us to see where, instinctively, we place ourselves in the context of our relationship with God and our interaction with people. Assuming that our relationship with God is correct, at least as far as it appears to us before a deeper, more direct reflection, it is already embarrassing and humbling to have come up with the different groups of people to whom we relate and with whom we interact.

True loves“: it includes anyone within our very narrow circle of genuine love for whom we are willing to sacrifice our life. Alas, we realize that we might be able to put very few persons in this group…

Real friends: people who feel free to confront, correct and challenge us. These are like treasures whom we must value very much and for whom we are ready to inconvenience ourselves.

Friends: people whom we like and who like us back and with whom we get along and whose company we seek. 

People in general: we do business with them, we work with, we deal with, we cross paths with, we travel along the same routes with, we live close to, and so on.

People as mere statistics: they are the vastest majority. Occasionally, they are part of the news that we watch on TV, but they do not affect us more than a little. The faceless people in mission lands might fall in this category.

Useful people: they are a sought-after group because we want to put in it those who are powerful, influential, wealthy, anyone who can help us in any way and from whom we can benefit greatly.

Useless people: we do not care about them because they are sapping goods meant for the community without any contribution on their part. 

Pain-in-the neck people: we try to avoid them as much as we can, but they seem to find new ways of bothering us and ask a lot of us at the most inopportune times. They cause us to roll our eyes, and we try somehow to shorten the time we are forced to spend with them.

Enemies and persecutors: they are all those who generate resentment, fear and hostility in us; those who hurt us in ways that cannot be avoided because they are powerful and/or use many means, legal and illegal, to make our life miserable.

St. James (3:16-43), the most practical and the most no-non-sense apostle, talks about the emotions causing us to have some of the groups mentioned above. He talks about jealousy, selfish ambition, disorder, foul practice, inconstancy, insincerity and unruly passions. The Book of Wisdom (2:12, 17-20) exposes the very dangerous emotions in the heart of the wicked, which cause them to find obnoxious people who are remarkable for their goodness and integrity. And in the Gospel of Mark (9:30-37), Jesus reveals to us the root of all these emotions: due to the consequences of original sin, we instinctively think that, if not at the very top, we place ourselves near the top of our group.

Now, I do not think that, realistically, Jesus expects us to change our inner attitude overnight and to such a degree as to have only “true loves,” real friends and persecutors. But he would be very pleased if we worked with the Holy Spirit towards that goal.

You might wonder why it is impossible for us to eliminate the group of persecutors. Their existence is not up to us. As in Jesus’s case, the more persecutors we have, the closer we are to being Christ-like.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:10)

Remember the word I spoke to you, ‘No slave is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you… (John 15:20)

Jesus said, “Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the gospel who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age: houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come. (Mark 10:29-30)

The remedy which Jesus suggests to our innate tendency of considering ourselves number one is a child. But his visual aid must be explained right away. Nowadays, children are either valued extremely to the point that, in some cases, they cannot be disciplined, OR they are lawfully eliminated before they are even born. Back then, children were considered valueless; they were seen as a liability because, given the limited resources, they were seen as extra mouths to feed. They began to have some value from the time they could help around the house and at the farm.

Well, Jesus’ cure for our pride, which is responsible for the proliferation of groups on our list is the thought that he (Jesus) and the Father, are present in anyone whom we place in each of our groups! Think about the power of this visual aid: Jesus assures us that the way we deal with those in any of our groups of “valueless” is the way we deal with him and the Father.

Despising, avoiding, judging, using, abusing, condemning any of them is despising, avoiding, judging, using, abusing, and condemning the Son and the Father who sent him. Ouch!

Consequently, unless we reduce our groups to only “true loves” and real friends; unless we execute wholeheartedly these two orders: but I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44), we truly live dangerously, and we can expect a harsh verdict from the Lord on Judgment Day.

There is indeed no time to waste because heaven is strictly for lovers and real friends. So, we pray: “Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like yours. Amen” 

Written by
Fr Dino Vanin

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