Recently one of my brothers in the Capuchin fraternity of Marsa, Malta, was sanding the door. I really appreciate how much love, care and diligence my brother Charles expended on this important job. As I saw him working with that dedication and selfless love he reminded me to find some interesting insights on the notion of the door from the diary of St Faustina.
The theme of the door within St Faustina’s Diary has different connotations attached to it. First and foremost, St Faustina recalls when she knocked upon different doors of different convents but she was refused. In paragraph 13 of her Diary she recounts: The priest was surprised at first, but told me to have strong confidence that God would provide for my future. “For the time being,” he said, “I shall send you to a pious lady Aldona Lipszycowa with whom you will stay until you enter a convent.” When I called on this lady, she received me very kindly. During the time I stayed with her, I was looking for a convent, but at whatever convent door I knocked, I was turned away. Sorrow gripped my heart, and I said to the Lord Jesus, “Help me; don’t leave me alone.” At last I knocked on our door (Diary, 13).
Then, four paragraphs down, St Faustina speaks with great joy about the joyful experience when the door of the convent of Our Lady of Mercy was finally opened to her. She wrote: At last the time came when the door of the convent was opened for me – it was the first of August [1925], in the evening, the vigil [of a feast] of Our Lady of the Angels. I felt immensely happy; it seemed to me that I had stepped into the life of Paradise. A single prayer was bursting forth from my heart, one of thanksgiving (Diary, 17).
Moreover, the door is also a witness of St Faustina’s wholehearted obedience to Jesus. St Fuastina shares with us the following experience she had: The next day before noon I saw Mother Superior going to the refectory and, since the kitchen, refectory and Sister Aloysia’s little room are all close to each other, I asked Mother Superior to come into Sister Aloysia’s room and told her of the wish of the Lord Jesus. At that, Mother answered, “I will not permit you to wear any hair shirt. Absolutely not! If the Lord Jesus were to give you the strength of a colossus, I would then permit those mortifications.” I apologized for taking up Mother’s time and left the room. At that very moment I saw Jesus standing at the kitchen door, and I said to Him, “You commanded me to ask for these mortifications, but Mother Superior will not permit them.” Jesus said, I was here during your conversation with the Superior and know everything. I don’t demand mortification from you, but obedience. By obedience you give great glory to Me and gain merit for yourself (Diary, 28).
The theme of the door surfaces at St Faustina’s novitiate retreat. Here the door acts as a bridge to help the young Faustina understand and appreciate more and more Jesus’ merciful love and to focus her life on it completely. At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, “Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. “And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters (Diary, 229).
In another and final instance, the image of the door is so pivotal and, somehow, dramatic in the Diary of St Faustina. At this particular moment, Jesus speaks to Faustina about two doors, that is one of mercy whereas the other is of justice. It is we who decide from which door we want to enter. Jesus encourages us to pass through the door of mercy because such is our door of salvation. In paragraph 1146 he says: [Let] the greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy. My daughter, write about My mercy towards tormented souls. Souls that make an appeal to My mercy delight Me. To such souls I grant even more graces than they ask. I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy. Write: before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice… (Diary, 1146).
Lord, give me the wisdom to always choose the door of your mercy which saves me and the people I meet on my way. Amen.
