I go to Mass to worship God and to accept the gift of salvation. In Holy Communion, I find that which gives my soul all that it needs. Nevertheless, for much of my life, I did not follow the way of the Christian. I did not comprehend the mystery of the Real Presence when I came to Mass during my adolescent years. I grew up in a religious family and I observed the requirements of my faith. Altogether I was not living an authentically Christian life.
What I am about to say is very hard for me to admit. I bring it forward not to aggrandize myself but to give honor to the amazing healing power of the Eucharist. I walked through a haze in Middle School. I did not have any sense of who I was or where I was going in life. I acted out in certain ways. I was bullied throughout my school years. I have to admit I acted out in anger in the same way. I must not lie about this. I bullied people I did not want around me. I purposely drove away those who I thought made me look bad. I ended up betraying a good friend because I was self-conscious about him. Really, I was the only one making myself look bad. So, I walked through Middle School knocking over all the good pillars I had from my Catholic upbringing. I felt at one point like I could never rise above what I had done. I sank into many low points in my heart. It was my faith that pulled me through.
It was coming to Mass where I could find again the grace I needed to amend my life. I remember the homilies I heard from Fr. Ed, our parish priest. His homilies gently nudged his flock to come closer to Christ. The Mass opened up for me like it never had before. The Liturgy of the Word prepared and plowed the soil of my soul to receive the beautiful seed of the Eucharist’s graces. I was so thankful for how he lived out his priesthood and his spiritual fatherhood in a thoroughly Eucharistic way. His guidance put me on the path back to faith.
Other lights helped me to return. I am usually skeptical about following people who are called heroes. Yet for some souls there are exceptions. In 2005 Pope John Paul II died. I was still in middle school at the time. I knew who John Paul was and still I did not know his full story. In the days following his death I saw a TV special documenting his life. I learned about his time as a priest and bishop in Poland living under Communist oppression. I began to see John Paul as a true hero. His example was a constant source of inspiration and encouragement for me. I definitely consider him to be a true Christian example and a worthy saint. I drew inspiration from how he made self-sacrifice his motto and method. He took on the Papacy at a relatively young age. He strode forward to challenge corruption and tyranny in the World. When he was shot in 1984 he suffered greatly. He lost over half of his blood from his wounds and still lived. He recovered and forgave the man who shot him. He lived as Christ our Lord lived. I do believe that his example was authentic. How truly Eucharistic it was for such a powerful and strong-willed leader to lay aside his pain and forgive the man who shot him! How fitting it is that the Sign of Peace is offered before the Eucharist is received. So also how fitting it was that John Paul forgave the man who shot him before he gave his gift of life upon God’s Altar in death. His example was one of the cornerstones of my foundation of faith. I return to his example often, for he truly was and is an example of faith-filled ideals sustained by the Eucharist.
I still had fallen far away. My walk in wonder was detoured by my run into ruin. My selfish and narcissistic actions had alienated me from the life of grace. I came to Mass and yet did not practice what I believed. I came to Church and yet lived with amoral attitudes. Like a sheep lost out of a hundred or the two despondent disciples on the road to Emmaus, Christ came to me and pulled me back to the right way. He led me from where I thought I wanted to go to the road that led me back to where I longed to be in truth. The Eucharist became my capstone and my compass. I could turn to my faith in Christ and His Church again and again to know the way more deeply.
Invitation
Here’s to a new renewal in your life. Let us embrace a Eucharistic challenge that opens your soul to Christ. I have already encouraged you to take up the practice of weekly Adoration. Now, I ask you to start a conversation with our Lord. Present your cares and concerns to the Lord. Do not hold back. God knows what is in your heart. He wants you to know what is in the Divine Heart. Give yourself over totally to this conversation. Take all decisions you have to make to prayer. Bring any struggle or problem or conflict to this prayer as well. Do not be afraid to “lay it all out” before God. He wants only the best for you. Let Christ be your compass in your life, for he will always lead you to your true North. Amen.
